


The Silent Apprentice

by killerspaceman



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Autism, Autism Spectrum, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, If you have sensitive triggers be careful in chapter 2, Nothing bad happens but it's implied that something bad might have happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 16:59:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18529291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerspaceman/pseuds/killerspaceman
Summary: When a young girl is abducted from her home planet, she is forced to come to terms with her new situation as the apprentice to the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Though certain factors make it more difficult for her than normal.





	1. Number 107

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place between the Last Jedi and the Rise of Skywalker. I tried to stay close to canon whenever I could, apart from the obvious original character. Hope you enjoy.

They came at dawn.

I started from my slumber when I heard the door being kicked in. I knew immediately who they were and what they wanted. After all that had been happening the past few weeks, it was only a matter of time before they found me. I heard my father pleading with the stormtroopers before a blaster went off.

“Search the house,” said a mechanized voice. My bedroom was in the very back of the house, so I figured I had about a minute to make my escape. I ran for the window. The house was only one story, so the drop was an easy one. As soon as my feet hit the ground I started running as fast as I could toward the forest. If I made it there, I could climb a tree and hide there until the threat passed.

But I never got the chance.

I was running for about three seconds before I heard someone shout “Halt!” And when I didn’t halt, they fired their blaster. I felt a powerful current of electricity course through my body, and then nothing.

When I woke up I was strapped to a metal table wearing different clothes from the ones I had on when I ran out of my house. I fought the panic bubbling up inside of me and tried to assess my surroundings. I was in some kind of examination room, and I knew I was in the First Order’s custody, which meant we must have left Chandrila while I was unconscious. I had no idea how long I was out, so for all I knew we could have been on the other side of the galaxy by then.

I also knew that the First Order took me because I was a force-user, because ever since the Battle of Crait they had been abducting all the force-sensitive children they could find throughout the major systems. I had assumed it was because they wanted to round up any potential Jedi and then eliminate them, so I was surprised to find myself alive and unharmed.

I heard footsteps coming down the corridor about 30 seconds before two First Order medics walked into the room. “Which is she? Number 107?” said the first medic. “Yes. Now we just need to submit her chart to get approved by the captain before we take her to the Supreme Leader,” said the second. She walked over to the counter next to me and picked up a tablet, then walked out with her companion.

My heart was in my throat. The Supreme Leader? What in the world would _Kylo Ren_ ever want with me? Surely if I was to be executed they would have gotten a lower level soldier to do it, not the head of the First Order, so there had to be something else going on. I thought for a minute, and then it hit me. _Could he be looking for an apprentice?_ It was the only plausible explanation, but baffling all the same. I was number 107. Did that mean I was the 107th person to be taken to him? What had happened to the other 106?

I was left to mull over the horrendous possibilities for what felt like days before two stormtroopers finally came to take me to Kylo Ren. My heart was pounding as they released me from the table and then restrained my hands. One took hold of my upper arm and marched me out of the examination room and down the corridor. We went down 4 hallways, got on an elevator, went up 3 floors, down two more hallways, before finally reaching the final room.

I felt sick with dread as the two soldiers practically dragged me into the room. The room was massive and lined with windows that showed a view of empty space. Kylo Ren was standing near one of the windows next to a small table with an hourglass filled with black sand on top of it. He was looking out at the empty space with his back to us. The stormtrooper holding my arm spoke first. “Sir, we have number 107,” he said. Kylo Ren turned around, looked at me, then looked at the stormtroopers and said “Leave.” They obeyed and I was left alone with the most powerful man in the galaxy.

“The test is simple,” he said. “If you can last for two minutes, you pass.”

Kylo Ren then picked up the hourglass and turned it upside down, drew his lightsaber, and charged.

 

 

My mind went blank and something else took over. I could tell he was going to come in with an undercut, so I waited for him to get close enough and then sidestepped out of his range of attack. He stumbled slightly when he swung a little too fiercely at the spot where I no longer was, so I used his own momentum against him and kicked the back of his left knee. He growled in annoyance as his leg buckled, and I used the few seconds he was down to run to the opposite end of the room. I had no weapon and my wrists were still shackled together, so my best bet was to dodge and run for as long as I could.

It didn’t take long for Kylo Ren to recover and begin his second attack. He swung his lightsaber toward my midsection this time, and I had to roll out of the way to avoid being sliced in half. By the time I was on my feet again, Ren was already mid-swing and I leapt backward as far as I could, almost losing my balance as I did. I was very much feeling my disadvantages, and I briefly wondered what kind of man would force someone to fight the equivalent of a Sith Lord without a weapon and with their hands bound. Surely it would be a challenge for even a Jedi Master, let alone an untrained child.

Kylo Ren resumed his fighting stance and I decided to try something crazy. Before he could begin his third charge, I sprinted at him with everything I had. When I got close enough he swung at my neck, but I ducked under his blow. I then pulled my hands toward my side, and drove my elbow full-force into Kylo Ren’s stomach. I heard the breath leave his lungs as he gasped and stumbled backward, doubled over and completely bewildered by my sudden attack. I again ran to the opposite side of the room and waited for him to recover and charge again. When he straightened his expression was one of pure hatred, the way my father used to look at the stormtroopers that occupied our village. I wondered if that would be the last thing I ever saw before he cut me down with his lightsaber.

I kept my eyes locked on him, and I saw him glance at something to my right. He then gave me one last scowl before stepping out of his fighting stance and disarming his lightsaber. I looked over and saw that all the sand in the hourglass had reached the bottom. I had passed the test.

 

“What is your name?” he said.

 

When I didn’t respond, he became irritated and said, “I asked you a question, child.”

 

I still said nothing.

 

His voice changed from irritation to anger and he said “I’ll have you shot for your insubordination. Guar—“

 

_Wait_ , I said before he could finish.  

 

His eyes got wide and he just stared at me. I wasn’t altogether surprised at his reaction, it’s one I often see when people find out I speak in their minds instead of with my voice.  

 

He finally said, “You’re a telepath.”

 

_Of sorts_ , I replied.

 

“Can you read my thoughts?” he said.

 

_No_ , I said, _I can only project my own thoughts into your mind._

 

“Interesting,” he said. “And you’re from Chandrila?”

 

_Yes_ , I said.

 

“I’ve never heard of telepaths on Chandrila.”

 

I didn’t know how to respond to that so I said nothing.

 

“Tell me your name,” he said again.

 

_Audra_ , I said, not wanting to be executed for insubordination.

 

“Alright, Audra, I’ll have my guards send you to your quarters. Your training to be my apprentice begins tomorrow.”

 

He then exited the room and the two stormtroopers walked back in, removed my restraints, and escorted me down 6 corridors, up 12 floors, and down three more hallways until we got to a plain black automated door. One of the stormtroopers entered the digits 1-4-3-8-4-5 onto a keypad next to the door and the door slid open and he ushered me inside. I heard him click in a code that most likely locked the door, as I heard a bolt slide into place when he finished entering it.

The room wasn’t what I expected, which was a prison cell. It was far from it; it was a spacious room with a full-sized bed with white sheets, white pillows, and a white comforter. There was a black wardrobe full of black tunics and black pants and black lace-up boots. A black table with two black chairs next to it had white paper and black pens on top of it. There was a bathroom full of white porcelain attached to the room, with black towels on the rack. The whole place was painstakingly monochromatic and I wondered what the purpose of that was and who did interior design for a star destroyer, which judging by the size of the ship’s interior I had seen so far was what I assumed I was aboard.

I then began to feel nervous because of how new everything was and there was so much to take in at once that it made me dizzy. The noise just coming from the halls we walked down was enough to make me feel nauseous and overstimulated. I missed home where I knew where everything was and nothing was ever so new and frightening as this. I wondered if the First Order had gotten my medical records on Chandrila before we left. I figured not for two reasons. Firstly, they weren’t at my house; they were at the clinic a mile away from my house, and the soldiers who took me would have no reason to know that I was a patient there. Secondly, if they knew what I really was they probably would have killed me as soon as they found out and I never would have been taken to Kylo Ren in the first place.

I then began to wonder whether my father was still alive. I knew he had been shot with a blaster because I heard him talking and then abruptly stop talking after it went off, but I couldn’t be sure whether the setting was on “stun” or “kill”.

I was still wallowing in my worries when I heard boots coming down the hall. Not many people walked through this area, as far as I could tell from the noise level, so this could have something to do with me. It turned out I was right because I heard the keypad outside my door clicking the numbers 1-4-3-8-4-5 before the door opened. A uniformed officer with a tray of food walked in, set the food on the table away from the paper and pens, said nothing, walked back out, punched in the locking code, and walked away.

I supposed that I was technically a prisoner here since I was brought aboard against my will and they were keeping me in a locked room. I wondered how Kylo Ren planned to teach the ways of the Force to someone who didn’t want to be there or learn from him. Probably something along the lines of “learn these lessons or die”, which was reasonable enough.

I walked over to the table to inspect the food. It was a black plate with black silverware atop which sat an unknown type of roasted meat, unidentified vegetables that looked to be from a can, some red fruit preserves, and a slice of bread. It only then struck me that it had been a very long time since I had last eaten and I was very hungry. I ate the vegetables and the bread with the fruit preserves spread on top because I am okay with trying new types of bread and produce but I don’t eat meat from animals I don’t know the name of and the officer had left before I could ask.

I felt very tired soon after I finished eating. I wasn’t exactly sure how long I had been awake, but considering I had just fought the Supreme Leader of the First Order and didn't die, I thought I deserved some rest.


	2. The Ways of the Dark Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned this in the tags but just as a reminder, there is a situation in this chapter that might upset people with especially sensitive triggers. Nothing actually happens, but there are some heavy implications that something might have happened. Proceed at your own risk.

I did not sleep well that night. I had horrible nightmares about my father being dead that kept me in such a fitful state of rest that I eventually gave up on sleep and decided to rise for the day.

I took a shower, which I wasn’t sure about doing at first because I don’t like taking my clothes off in strange places. But they had already taken the clothes I was wearing when I left Chandrila so I figured it didn’t really matter at this point. I got out of the shower feeling better than when I got in, but still not good. The stress of being in a new place hadn’t subsided and I was still missing home.

After dressing, I decided that I was going to draw a picture of my house on Chandrila with the forest and hills in the background so I wouldn’t feel as homesick. I wasn’t sure how long I had been doing this but I was just finishing up the details on the trees I heard someone walking up to my door and the beeping of the keypad. Two stormtroopers came in, and I wondered if they were the same ones as yesterday or different ones.

“The Supreme Leader has requested your presence in the training room. Come with us,” one said. It didn’t really seem like I had another choice so I followed them without complaint.

Six minutes later we arrived at what I surmised to be the training room, after a long ride in an elevator I hadn’t been in yet. Kylo Ren again had his back to us and his hands were folded behind his back. He seemed to be deep in thought but did not start when one of my escorts said, “Supreme Leader, we have brought your apprentice.” He said, “Leave us.”

Once the elevator door shut behind them Ren turned around and stared at me for several seconds. I was uncomfortable with this and did not make eye contact with him. He finally said, “I think you’re capable of more than just speaking in people’s minds. We’re going to test that theory in today’s lesson. I’m going to reach into your mind, and you’re going to try to keep me out.”

I was not pleased to hear this, and my face must have indicated so because Kylo Ren’s next words were, “It is the only way for us to unlock your full potential.” He didn’t give me any time to brace myself before I felt his presence forcing its way into the outer edges of my consciousness. _Stop_ , I told him. “Make me,” he said.

I began to concentrate on building a mental wall between myself and Ren, but his power was too strong for my amateur capabilities and he pushed past my defenses faster than I could build them. I knew he was going to find some damning information if I didn’t do something about it now, so I tried a different approach.

I screamed.

Ren’s psychic onslaught immediately stopped and he fell to his knees with his hands pressed against his skull. “STOP,” he bellowed, and I was really tempted to say “Make me,” but I didn’t because he could still have me executed if he wanted. So I stopped screaming and Kylo Ren’s hands fell away from his head and he looked at me in with an expression I had never seen before and couldn’t identify. He stood up and began laughing. I was puzzled because I didn’t think what just happened was very funny.

 

“Now _that_ is something,” he finally said. “Can you do that to multiple people at once?”

 

 _I don’t know_ , I said.

 

“If you can,” he said, “it could mean the difference between victory and defeat in battle.”

 

I didn’t respond.

 

“Let’s test that theory,” he said, “Guards!”

 

Apparently the two stormtroopers had been waiting outside the whole time because they immediately ran in at Ren’s command.

 

“Do it,” he said.

 

I froze and did nothing.

 

When he saw that nothing was happening he angrily reiterated, “I said _do it_.”

 

I still did nothing.

 

He tried a different tactic, “Do it or I’ll kill them.”

 

The stormtroopers stiffened at that. I didn’t want anyone to die because of my stubbornness, so I did as he ordered. The stormtroopers both fell to the ground, screaming and clutching their helmets. I was horrified so I stopped.

I turned and looked at Kylo Ren. He was smiling at me, and I was relieved because that meant he wasn’t angry anymore and nobody was going to die. But something about his expression felt wrong. He was smiling, but his eyes did not look like the eyes of someone who was happy. His eyes looked like the eyes of a boy I knew when I was very young who killed small animals for fun.

“Well done, child,” he said. As soon as he finished speaking, I heard two loud cracks coming from behind me and when I turned around the stormtroopers were not moving and their necks were bent at funny angles. My stomach felt like it did a flip and I suddenly felt very dizzy. I fell onto my hands and knees and my breathing became short and quick. Kylo Ren could tell something was wrong because he said, “Don’t feel bad, I had to kill them so no one knows about your ability. You’re going to be a kind of secret weapon from now on.”

There were spots in my vision and I thought I might faint. “Don’t be so dramatic,” he said, and began walking towards me. He grabbed me roughly by the arm and lifted me to my feet but his touch felt like fire at that moment because of how upset I was so I hit his arm very hard to make him let go. His eyes got wide and I was afraid he might be angry and kill me but he just started at me for about 10 seconds before saying,

 

“Do you know I can have you killed any time I like?”

 

 _Yes_ , I said.   

 

“Good,” he said, “Because if you ever do that again I think I’ll do just that.”

 

 _I don’t like being touched when I’m upset_ , I said.

 

“Noted,” he replied.

 

“Alright,” he said. “I think that’s enough for today.”

 

Then I think it occurred to him that he had just murdered my only escorts because he sighed softly and ordered, “Go outside and into the elevator.” I was still rather dizzy from the recent emotional ordeal so I unsteadily did as he told me and he followed. We rode down in the elevator in complete silence for 2 minutes.

The main floor was very busy once we got there and I didn’t like that at all because busy meant noise. Kylo Ren stopped four stormtroopers who were walking by in a group two by two and said, “Escort my apprentice to her quarters, and afterward clean up the mess in the training room.” My stomach dropped at the latter half of his sentence but I didn’t have an episode like I did before. He then walked down the central corridor and out of sight and I was taken back to my room.

 

* * *

 

My training progressed in the following weeks, though Ren didn’t let me scream at him after that first time. It ended up working out though because he taught me how to properly defend myself against a psychic attack before he tried one again, so I didn’t have to resort to extreme measures to keep him from finding out I was _different_.

I couldn’t tell if he was impressed with my performance or not. I supposed if I had been too unsatisfactory he would have disposed of me by now, so I took that to be a good sign.

My training didn’t just include Force manipulation and combat, Ren also taught me about the dark side and the history of its practitioners. He instructed me extensively about Darth Vader and the Sith, and the Knights of Ren, but never mentioned his own master. He informed me about the unimaginable power the dark side can bestow upon its users, and that to harness it I had to draw upon my most intense emotions. Passion, hatred, and fear were the cornerstone of its implementation.

I had never really given those emotions much thought before I was brought here, and so to do what Ren instructed I drew upon my hatred for him and everything he stood for. I hated that he took me from my home and my family. I hated that he murdered 106 Force-sensitive children and 2 of his men and who knows how many others for his own nefarious purposes. But most of all, I hated what he and his sickness of an organization were trying to impose upon the galaxy. They had destroyed the peaceful New Republic and replaced it with a government that was built on the fear of its subjects and an insatiable thirst for power. I swore to myself that if I ever made it out of here alive I would join the Resistance and fight against the First Order with everything I had. So naturally keeping Kylo Ren out of my head was the first of my priorities.

 

 

Weeks and perhaps months had gone by before Ren finally started training me with a lightsaber. It was a standard red one used by dark side followers, and it was different from his own because wasn’t a crossguard and didn’t flicker like fire. He said his flickered because it was made of cracked kyber crystal as opposed to whole. I wondered what the purpose of that was but didn’t ask.

He didn’t let me keep it with me; he wasn’t that stupid. But I could use it whenever we were training, which was for a few hours every day. We had trained with metal rods in combat leading up to this point, which were about the length of a lightsaber but much heavier, I found. A lightsaber was, well, light. I expected it to be hot close to the blade, but it wasn’t. I knew what would happen if I touched it though, so I didn’t get too close.

I thought many times about killing him while we trained, but there were several obstacles to this endeavor. First, he was far more skilled than me in combat, so if I was going to kill him it was going to have to be when his guard was down. Second, he never let his guard down. He never turned his back to me or stood unarmed and within striking range when I was holding my lightsaber. Third, even if I did succeed, I wouldn’t be able to escape because I didn’t know where the escape pods were or how to fly a TIE fighter and I would probably be apprehended before I could get very far and then I’d be executed for treason and murder. So I waited, hoping the Resistance would come aboard looking for Ren, or that we would go to a battle where they were, and then I could be free. But after a while I grew less and less hopeful that this would happen.

I would sometimes wonder how bad it would be if I just gave in to Ren’s wishes and became his loyal apprentice. It would be much easier that way. I had a feeling he would be able to sense my resignation too, and then he might let me have more freedom, like going on missions, getting to keep my lightsaber, or even just walking around the ship if I wanted. I would become powerful. My greed and anger would consume me, and I would become just like him. I always shudder at that final thought and it makes me even more determined to rebel against him. So I waited.

And then it happened. He crossed a line.

 

 

It was after training one day. I was about to be escorted back to my room as per usual, but then Ren told the stormtroopers on duty, “I’ll escort her, return to your stations.” Which was very strange because he had never done that before. He must have noticed my confusion because he said, “We’re going somewhere different today.” So I followed him through the main floor, and we went down the central hallway and up another elevator all the way to the top floor. When the door opened, we were in a deserted corridor, black and metallic as all the others, but the ceiling was higher up but the hallway was narrower. We walked past 3 doors, each about 40 paces apart, until we came to a grand set of black double doors which we stopped in front of. There was no keypad, just a screen on which Ren placed his bare hand and then went inside, and I followed.

It looked to be a very large bedroom. Everything was black with silver trim, as opposed to just black and white like mine. I assumed it was his since he had to use his handprint to get in. Then it happened again, like the day when I first had to fight him. My mind went blank and something else took over. I heard my father’s voice speak in my mind,

 

_Audra, you must leave at once. You can stay here no longer. Go!_

 

So I turned toward the door but Kylo Ren stopped me by putting his hand on my shoulder. “Where are you going?” he said, “We only just got here.” I tried to take a step forward but his grip tightened until it hurt and he began to pull me toward him. So I spun around and punched him in the face. My knuckles connected with his nose and I felt it break. “Gah!” he yelled, “You little urchin!”

Blood was flowing from his nose and onto his shirt and the floor. I thought he was sufficiently distracted, so I made for the door again. But I was wrong, and before I knew it I was taken off my feet by an invisible force and pinned against a wall. Kylo Ren began walking toward me from the other side of the room with a look of unspeakable violence on his face, and I knew that it was now or never.

I screamed.

I screamed like I had never screamed before, like my life and every life in the galaxy depended on it. And Kylo Ren began screaming too, but this time blood was coming out of his eyes and ears as well as his nose. I was horrified at what I had done and I stopped. He slumped to the floor, unconscious but not dead, and I knew I had to act quickly.

The door was locked, but I noticed Ren had my lightsaber strapped to his belt as well as his own. I knew I couldn’t bear to go near him after what just happened, so I used the Force to summon it into my hand. I armed it and then stabbed the control panel, and the doors immediately slid open. I peeked out the door to make sure no one was around, and no one was, so I took off running the opposite way we had come. I did this because I knew that way would lead me down to the central corridor, which was heavily trafficked and would surely get me caught. I also reasoned that there was likely an escape craft somewhere on this floor since the Supreme Leader’s quarters were here, and his safety is the highest priority of anyone on the ship.

I ran down the hallway, looking for any sign of a ship. I was running for about 1 minute and 30 seconds before I found a door that looked like an airlock. There was another screen on which one was supposed to place a handprint, but I skipped that part and just stabbed it again. The door opened, and I was relieved to find that it was, in fact, an escape pod.

I had never flown anything in my entire life so I was expecting a steep challenge, but the pod seemed pretty user-friendly and had instructions for how to detach from the ship and fly printed on the wall near the entrance. I followed the steps as quickly and accurately as I could and before I knew it I was flying away from my captivity at light speed. I had never felt more alive.

 


	3. A New Home

My happiness lessened when I realized I had no idea where I was going. The ship had already made the appropriate calculations so I knew I wasn’t going to smash into an asteroid or anything, but I was so desperate to escape I hadn’t even noticed what direction the ship was going in. I began pressing buttons until a map of the galactic region I was in appeared on the screen. I was in the Mid Rim, not far from Hutt Space, but there were no planets in sight. I began to panic because I was so far away from everything I’d ever known and I didn’t know where to go. But then something happened.

An unfamiliar tranquility fell over me. I heard my father’s voice say, _Trust your instincts, Audra._ I felt this strange pulling inside of me, and suddenly I knew exactly where I needed to go. I punched in the coordinates and jumped back to light speed.

When I arrived on the planet Ruusan, the pulling feeling I had grew ten times stronger. I directed the craft toward a remote region in the planet’s northwestern hemisphere, in the middle of a desert. I landed near a large outcropping of red rock, where I thought the shade would be best so the scorching sun wouldn’t overheat the ship’s machinery.

I packed enough supplies for a few days and left the ship behind. I followed the pulling inside me due west for a long time. I didn’t know how long because when I’m focused time passes differently, and also I didn’t know how long a day was on Ruusan so the movement of the sun across the sky didn’t really tell me anything. I was wearing all black clothes from the First Order’s ship, so I probably should have been worried about overheating, but truthfully I barely felt the desert heat the whole time I was walking. I felt an incredible sense of purpose, and anything else was a mere distraction.

After an indeterminate amount of time, I began to see tall, narrow stone structures in the distance. As I got closer I realized they were in the shape of hooded figures. They were all facing a huge gorge, and eventually I got to its edge and looked over the side of it. There was a point of swirling energy at the bottom of the chasm, with upright stone prisms scattered all around it. I began climbing down toward it, along a precariously narrow footpath etched into the wall of the canyon. I probably should have been worried about falling, but at this moment not even the wrath of Kylo Ren could have scared me.

When I reached the bottom, I walked toward the swirling beams of light. I stopped just short of it, a morsel of apprehension trying to make its way through. But it didn’t last. I reached out with my hand and touched the light, and then everything changed. I saw visions of the past, of the battle that happened here long ago. I saw Jedi and Sith alike annihilated by the power of the dark, and the scar it left here. But then I saw how the Force had healed this place over time, and now it was a sacred nexus, a place of pilgrimage for followers of the light. The darkness within me subsided, and I let go of all the anger and hatred I had carried with me for so long. The pull I was feeling was the pull to the light, to the Jedi.

I don’t know how long I was in this state of consciousness, but when I finally came back to my surroundings it was completely dark apart from the Force illuminations. All of a sudden an overwhelming exhaustion came over me and I fell asleep on the ground before I could even get my bedroll out of my pack.

When I awoke, the sun was high in the sky again and I could still feel the power coursing through the space around me. I regretted not being able to get out my bedroll because my back was aching from sleeping on the hard ground. But I knew it didn’t matter, and I decided I was going to try to learn the ways of the light side from this place. I decided the best place to start was to meditate.

I’ve never been very good at sitting still for long periods of time. I’m a very fidgety person and when I can’t move around I feel anxious and trapped. But I still felt very calm so I decided I would try to cultivate this skill to improve my self-discipline. I sat down in a shady alcove on the canyon wall, close enough to feel much of the power of the nexus but not enough to see visions like I did the day before. I closed my eyes and opened myself up to the Force.

And nothing happened.

I opened my eyes and still saw the illuminations before me, but I didn’t feel like I was being inundated with wisdom like I expected. Perhaps this wasn’t going to be as easy as I had hoped. So I tried a different tactic. I began reaching out with my consciousness and began feeling the faint heartbeat of life throughout this sparsely populated desert world. I felt the life on the surface and the death underground. I felt the burning heat of the sun and the frigid darkness of the caves. I felt the balance in this world, of this place especially. The powerful light and the powerful dark that resided here together. I felt it, and it felt right.

But then I reached out further, out into the galaxy, and I saw a great imbalance, heavily in favor of the dark. The First Order was spreading darkness everywhere, and Kylo Ren was its epicenter. I knew I must defeat him, but I realized that I had to do this not because I hated him, but because balance had to be restored. If I fought for selfish reasons I would never win, and I would be no better than him. I had to do it for the galaxy, not for myself.

 

“Hello there, young one.”

 

My eyes flew open and I saw that there was a man standing before me. He had short white hair and a neatly trimmed beard, and he wore simple brown robes. Except when I looked closer I saw the vague transparency and blue light around him and I realized he wasn’t a man, he was a ghost. Which made me feel somewhat better.

 

_Hello_ , I said.

 

“You have come a long way. But you will soon find the place you are meant to be.”

 

_Have I not already found it?_

 

“This is a sacred place full of wisdom and power. It is a place you were meant to find, but not the place where you belong.”

 

_Who are you?_

 

“I am one with the Force now, but I was once called Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

 

My eyes widened considerably. _Obi-Wan Kenobi? The legendary Jedi Master?_

 

“Legends often exaggerate the true nature of what they are. But yes, I was once a Jedi Master.”

 

_Why are you here?_

 

“I am wherever the Force exists, but I have come before you to guide you to where you belong.”

 

_Where must I go?_

 

“Leave the gorge and travel three days due south. There you will find where you are meant to be.”

 

_Thank you, Master Kenobi._

 

“You are welcome, Audra.”

 

And then he vanished.

I never got around to unpacking my bag so I just went and picked it up out of the alcove where I left it and climbed back up to the top of the canyon and began walking south. I hadn’t felt the sun’s heat before in the trance-like state I was in, but I could feel it now and it was excruciating. I took a blanket out of my bag and held it above my head for makeshift shade, but I could still feel the heat emanating out of the ground and I groaned out loud because I knew this was going to be a very long walk.

The boredom ended up being just as painful as the heat, so I began reciting facts in my head about galactic history, and it made me feel better because I could talk about the colonization of the galaxy and the Old Republic for hours. So I did.

After quite some time the sun began setting so I decided to stop for the night. I set up camp next to a large rock formation. I didn’t have anything to start a fire with, but thankfully my pack came with pre-prepared food, water, a heated blanket, and portable camp light. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was, and it occurred to me that I hadn’t eaten in at least two days. So I ate two tins of meat and several sleeves of crackers, and I was so hungry I didn’t even care that I didn’t know where the meat came from. I wanted to eat more but I knew I had to save some for the rest of my journey. After I ate I felt extremely tired so I got out my bedroll and went to sleep.

The next two days were slow and monotonous, but I kept myself busy by recalling everything I knew that had ever happened in the galaxy. By the end of the third day I was at 4 ABY, and I was so preoccupied with all the galactic history I was remembering that it took me a while to notice the settlement on the horizon.

I felt very happy once I saw it and quickened my pace so I could reach the settlement sooner. From far away I couldn’t tell if the lights were from a camp or a town, but as I got closer I realized it was a rather small camp. This didn’t dampen my mood though, because Obi-Wan had said this is where I belonged, so it must be a good place.

I was about a hundred yards out when I heard some sentries shouting at each other.

 

“There’s someone coming toward the camp!” said the first.

 

“I see them, I think it’s a little girl,” said the second.

 

“What in the world is a little girl doing all the way out here?” replied the first

 

“I don’t know, let’s ask her,” said the second.

 

And they began running toward me, which I didn’t like because I was worried they were going to attack me, even though this was supposed to be a good place.

They must have noticed I was afraid because one of them said, “Hey, no need to be scared. We’re not going to hurt you. Are you lost?” I shook my head which means “no” and he said, “Were you looking for us? Do you know who we are?” I held up one finger and nodded, then held up two fingers and shook my head again, to tell him that I was looking for them but I didn’t know who they were.

 

“We should take her to the General,” said the one who hadn’t asked me any questions.

 

“You’re right,” the other said. And then to me he said, “Come with us,” and motioned for me to follow, so I did.

 

We went into the camp where I saw lots of canvas tents and small fires burning. It was getting dark and people were gathering around the fires with bowls of food, and I began to feel hungry. There was a very large tent in the center of the camp, which was where it appeared the two sentries were taking me. It was nice not to be forced to go places anymore.

Inside the large tent, several people were standing around a central table that had a map of the galaxy on it. They were all talking so it was hard to hear what their conversations were about. Then one of the sentries said, “General Organa, we found a child all alone in the desert. She said she was looking for us.” An older woman in simple clothes said, “Thank you, Athos, you may return to your post.” And the sentries went out of the tent.

I noticed the woman staring at the lightsaber on my belt. I unclipped it from its holder and offered it to her since she seemed so interested in it. She took it from me and said, “May I?” and I was pretty sure she meant she wanted to arm it so I nodded. As soon as the red blade sprung from the hilt there was a collective gasp and I wondered if I had done something wrong. The woman must have noticed my confusion, and she said “Don’t worry, I know where you came from. I’m sorry for what he did to you.” And I was so amazed that she had figured all that out just from seeing my lightsaber that I didn’t respond, I just looked down at the floor. She continued and said, “Someone get this child some food, she’s come a long way to get here.” A young woman with strangely styled brown hair stepped forward and said, “I’ll take her.”

So I walked outside the tent with the woman toward where the smell of food was coming from. And I felt happy. I felt safe with these people even if I didn’t know them.

 

The woman asked me, “What is your name?”

 

And since I felt safe I told her, _I’m Audra_.

 

She seemed unfazed at the revelation that I was a telepath because all she said was, “Well, Audra, welcome to the Resistance."

 

And I knew I was home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Force nexus on Ruusan where Audra goes in this chapter is a real place in Star Wars canon, and it's called The Valley of the Jedi. A Jedi-Sith battle happened there about a thousand years before the Battle of Yavin IV in A New Hope where the Sith Lord Kaan wiped out both sides with a "thought bomb" and trapped all the souls there for many years. I thought it would be relevant to my story because the sole survivor of this battle, Darth Bane, was the Sith Lord who instituted the Rule of Two, where there could only ever be one master and one apprentice in the Sith Brotherhood. If you want to read more about it and get a better context of the battle that happened there, I suggest checking out the Wookiepedia page here: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Valley_of_the_Jedi. I also based the description of it on the picture from this page. I have a theory that Ruusan could be the desert planet that is featured in the first teaser trailer for The Rise of Skywalker, so that's why I chose it, in addition to its significance in the lore.


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